Pickup Chix
by tech-17
Summary: Chix Verbil is a pervert. Now he's trying to get a relative of Holly's to go out with him. She's a Short. He doesn't stand a chance. Rated T cause I'm more paranoid that Foaly.


**Disclaimer: I don't own any AF characters. I do own the character I created, Hope. Well I own my character "As much as any of us can, like, own anything. Ownership is, like, you know, an illusion. Maybe we don't even own our own bodies. We could be, like, the daydreams of some greater spirit."**

**Disclaimer part 2: I don't own that quote. Juliet Butler does.**

Holly was about to round a corner when she heard a familiar voice.

"Hey, babe. What's your name?"

She sighed. Chix Verbil. She wondered who he was talking to. The she heard the reply.

"Name's short. Hope Short." She sounded like a gangster from one of those old Mud Man movies.

Holly sighed. Of course it had to be Hope. Hope Short was Holly's grand-niece, her much older brother's son's daughter. Right now she was a private like Chix. Holly thought that she would probably be promoted before Chix, even though he had been a private for quite some time. Hope was similar to Holly. When she made it to captain, they would probably call her the "Crazy Girly Captain" like they had Holly. She leaned around the corner, hoping she wouldn't have to help the girl out.

"My name's Chix," Chix was saying.

Hope grinned. "Chicks? As in, little baby chickens? OK. Well, Baby Chicken Dude, I gotta go. See you around!" With that, she turned and left. Chix was left standing there, totally confused as to what happened. Holly grinned. Hope would be fine.

OOO

Chix never was one to give up easily. There weren't many girls in the LEP, and since he had all but given up on Holly, he was determined to get a date with Hope. He found her in the lunch room.

Chix sidled up to Hope. "Hey babe."

Hope turned, her face seeming to light up. "Baby Chicken Dude!"

Chix's face turned an odd color. Sprites are green, so when they blush, they look funny. If he had normal colored skin his face would have been bright red. He sighed. It was just his luck. There had been a lull in the talking in the lunch room at that precise moment, and almost everybody had heard Hope's exclamation.

Holly was sitting next to Trouble Kelp. He had just taken a drink of water. When he heard that, he started laughing, spraying his unfortunate younger brother with the water that had been in his mouth. Grub frowned at his brother, who was laughing too hard to care.

OOO

Poor Chix. Everyone called him "Baby Chicken Dude" or some variable. Some had shortened it to just "Chicken Dude" or even a few "Chickie". Of course, being Chix, he didn't learn. Holly watched as he leaned over her as she sat at the lunch table the next day.

"So, what's your sign?"

"Cancer. And I already know what yours is."

"Really? Wow, I'm honored."

"Yep," she said, poking Chix's stomach. "It's 'Wide Load'." This got quite a few snickers. Ever since Chix had injured his wing he had gotten a bit fat.

Chix sighed. Trouble started laughing, once again spraying Grub with water. Holly laughed at his face. "At least it was just water." Grub pouted.

OOO

"Will you go out with me?"

Hope looked up. "Sure Chix." Trouble choked. "Of course, that's provided you stay out while I come back in." Trouble tried not to, he really did, but he still ended up snorting milk out his nose. Holly grinned, handing Trouble a napkin and giving Hope a high five.

OOO

The next few days Chix left her alone. Until Ash Vein bet him he couldn't get Hope to go out with him. Hope saw him coming and grinned. Holly shuddered. That smile was remarkably similar to Artemis Fowl's vampire smile. Holly saw her slip her hand into her pocket. Chix sat down next to Hope.

"Hey babe. You're on fire toady."

"Hey Baby Chicken Dude, so are you."

Chix was stunned. "Really?"

"Yep." Hope pointed to the sleeve of Chix's uniform. It was on fire. Hope quietly slipped a lighter back into her pocket. Chix yelled and tried to put it out.

Trouble Kelp snorted. "Is he ever going to learn?"

Holly shook her head. "Nope."

OOO

Three weeks later she heard Hope's voice. "Hey! Baby Chicken Dude!"

Then Chix. "Hey Hope… I don't suppose you changed your mind?"

Holly heard a smack then Chix yowling in pain.

"Pervert."

Holly shook her head. Some things never change.


End file.
